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Is this a good story?

RIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!!!

The sound of cheers and screams and wistles blew through the school.
Finally the antisipation was over...summer was here. But this summer wouldn't be like any other for Amy and her three other friends Annie, Jane, and Lola, because the first month would be a month of adventure and thrills. While their parents thought the three teenagers would be at summer camp they would really be having the time of their lives in CALIFORNIA!!!!!!!obviously they said their camp was there so their parent would buy them airplane tickets but they would realy be traveling california. Three years of hard work saving up bags and bags of money really was going to be owrth it. Or would it??? They kissed their parents good bye and reminded to call them on their cells because the camp was an omish camp and did not use phones. Yep they actually believed them. jane brought her laptop with her and went on a travel sight to plan their vacation. They had 4000 dollars, hopefully
enough to live for a month alone. Jane looked online and found a whole adventure tour of california that included food and homing. They all smiled mischevously at each other.
" Lets do it" They said in a chorus.
the best part about it was they had a 1000 dollars left over. have of it for shopping of course and the other half for emergencys. Once they got their the first week was fun and games. They cayaked through a forest in a brautiful river. They rode horses in the water. They went snorkeling and more. But the second week was the scariest of their lives. They three girls went on a jungle island tour. When amy fell into a river when she missed a jump from one small cliff to another she broke her back. A helicopter immediantly came to bring her to the hospital. She made it but the bill was 5000 dollars. That was just a summary and just the beginning how was it?

Public Comments

1. Yup, I like it..it sounds fun!

2. eh...not exactly appealing to my tastes....but i really do believe that you could expand on it and make it good. Try adding a more of a plot and you def. need a conflict so that there is a real climax and falling action.

Good Luck!

3. An then...?
Teenagers that can plan something far in advance and actually pull it off are rare and far between. These girls deserve a spectacular adventure. Get it to them.

4. carry on,i want to know the end and if you get it published please put my name in it,,after all i have encouraged you to go for it lol

5. It sounds real good but you said ,"while their parents thought the three teenagers", but it was really 4 teenagers. Good story and after get your summary together, proofread it and clear up the typos IT WILL BE EVEN GREATER!!!