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I wrote a poem...PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK?

Music

What is so special about those melodies?
And words
That can even make you feel happy on Mondays
The time that you spend listen to it makes records…

Music will always be there for you when you’re happy
Or when you’re sad
It’s hard to resist because it’s too catchy
And for some minutes it makes you to stop feeling bad…

You travel to a world where everything is perfect
And you wish that those minutes would last longer
Because there is no conflict
And everything is better

If you’re happy it can make you feel sad
If you’re sad it can make you feel happy
It can give you something that you never had…
And for some minutes you no longer feel empty

But then you wake up
And face the real world
Everything breaking up
And you no longer can relate to the word happy
OMG! If you're really gonna make an album, I would LOVE to write some songs on it.
That would make be happy...

Public Comments

1. I think it is very good

2. I like it...and I agree with the statements..keep it up..=)

3. neat..... would u be interested to write lyrics for my forthcoming album :-)

4. it's good

5. I think it's great =] good job!

6. I won't lie to you, it sucks!

7. Not enough imagery...I can't see it in my minds eye or Touch, or smell or hear....also... Sad, Bad, Happy.....try some more expressive words..
Your getting there...keep going...
If you love to write...that is half the battle...

PS...I am not trying to be negative...I am giving real feedback, as I would want myself..

8. Enlightning, but quality for an album??? be careful... I have a good friend who has been in the business for 30 years. You may want his opinion.

9. That's a great poem! I like it! ^_^

10. there goes another beautiful lady with talent. i love it and I gave 9/10 on this poem can't wait to see you next people or may be you can help me on a poem too. what you say? please.

11. Good potential, Claudia. You have a gift for lyrical rhythm, Your wording may need to change slightly for it to be a song. Nice start and good concept.

12. Try it without the Thrid paragraph.
maybe it will not be to stroy like!
Get into it a little bit deeper, especially when talking about music.
Music should tell a story, so yo should give meanings behind the thoughts about the music.
use your feelings more, and it will sound great.
Express your thoughts, Why you think it is so special
This will make then a good poem, and maybe even a great song?

good luck

13. great poem

14. Wow it's good. : )

15. Hey hun that's really good I love your lyrics and stuff
?.blondy

16. very very good